Pregnancy is Beautiful

2 Jul

Now that I’m leaving the first trimester, I can say that the symptoms can be hilarious. I fall asleep in all kinds of crazy places, including standing up; I can puke in public with good reason (and after explaining why get a congratulations out of it); and I can out fart anyone… seriously… and no, I can’t help it.

Even in the first trimester your body gets crazy.  My boobs are two sizes bigger than they used to be (they would be waaay more fun if they weren’t sore 24/7, but I digress).  Today I was on the phone, and eating a chocolate chunk cookie while driving around doing errands. I would like to note it’s a chocolate “chunk” cookie, not a chocolate “chip” cookie.  This distinction becomes important later.  I run into The Christmas Tree shop since clearance for all patio stuff makes it even more affordable.  I check out with all my purchases, and glance down.  There are two identical chocolate dots on my breasts.  Anyone who might have looked at my gigantic rack would have realized that no, those are not freckles, nor are they moles.  I get to the car and clean myself up before heading to the next location.  I hit two more stores, the second being Target.  I needed to get myself a maternity bathing suit, and other fun things since at 11 weeks, I can’t close my pants anymore.  I get into the changing room and remove my bra only to realize that small bit of chocolate was a HUGE CHUNK OF CHOCOLATE.  It was smeared everywhere and quite thoroughly squished into the material of my bra.  The only thing I had to clean up with was a receipt  which I needed to keep to make a return, but in my panic, it was ruined cleaning my choco-boobs.  

I wonder if they make bibs for expectant moms?

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